IN THE EYE OF THE STORM

IN THE EYE OF THE STORM
May 21, 2011

Inside my mind behind my eyes
A storm is raging.
Dark purple skies
Grief as tall as mountains
and as low as the valleys
Wind blows, lightening flashes
Eyes cry a river of tears
Teardrops radiate out
in never ending circles of pain.
You are gone and there is nothing I can do.
I live in the eye of the storm.


Outwardly calm
But inside is chaotic chaos
And the threat that I will outwardly explode
and show the world the depth
Of my rage and sorrow.
Screaming. Ceaseless, never ending screaming
Falling on the floor unable to
move pain. Exhausted with
no more tears to cry pain.
A helpless, pathetic lump of humanity.

But despite of it all I still cling to hope.
Hope that you are safe and are at peace.
Hope that I can come to terms with my grief.
Hope that there will eventually be
more days of sunshine than
dark, stormy ones.
Hope that the depression and despair
will come less often.
Hope that I can once again
have a solid connection
with our Heavenly Father.
Hope that with God's help
I can reach out
and help others with
what I have learned on this journey.
Hope that I can have an
understanding and forgiving heart
so I can put aside any feelings
of anger I have towards
those that I perceive hurt my son.
I pray for the strength to let all that anger go
When I have done that,
then, and only then can I move forward
on this journey of healing.
Thank you Heavenly Father
for that understanding.

I celebrate the knowledge that we,
my son and I, will be together again
when my time on earth is over.
What a joyous day that will be
When the storm ends
and we are eternally at peace.