WHO WILL SPEAK FOR THE BOY THAT SLEEPS
written by Linda DuBos for Christian Jorgensen, her son
Who will speak for the boy that sleeps
Who will be the keepers of memories sweet
Who among you will be his voice
Tell his story; make his spirit rejoice
Who will raise their voice to the stars, moon, and wind
Proclaiming you will never, ever be forgotten dear friend.
We, his family and friends, tenderly speak
About our love for the sweet boy that sleeps.
Christian, You will never be forgotten
and will be eternally loved.
Within hours of Christian's death, emails and phone calls came pouring in from concerned, shocked friends and parents of his friends. I was amazed and humbled by such an outpouring of love and grief. It was suddenly as though our family had grown by a hundred fold. It was then that I realized how loved Christian was and how he had impacted so many lives in such a positive way. And how missed he will be.
The voice of these dear, dear friends was the sunshine in my bleak, black world. It would be impossible for me to even begin to explain how those messages touched my heart at a time when I needed it most. You were there for Christian and you were there for me and my family.
Thank you.
Each message, each comment a precious jewel. I wish that I could share them all but space is limited so of the hundreds that we received, I will share just a few. It is now my very great pleasure to let your voices be heard............
Rebecca Larson: Christian was the most caring, understanding, funny, loyal and an all around great person. I feel very blessed for all the times I got to share with such a wonderful man. I miss him calling me his "home girl".. I'm sure I'm not the only one who got that cute nick name :) I miss our hour long conversations and always felt honored when he would call me for advise. I will always miss that. I wish you knew Christian how much you meant to everyone and how much you meant to me. I am miserable knowing I can't call you or see you again. I hope that where ever you are you can see how many people here are lost without you. We take for granted our friends because we think they will always be there. I promise to you Christian I will tell each and every one of my friends (even the bad ones) every day that I love them because no life is worth losing especially yours. You were the best and I don't know what I am going to do with you. RIP Love always Becca
Jana Jepson Fugle: It is not by chance that the first part of Christian is Christ. He embodied the light and love of Christ to everyone, everywhere. We are all not only saddened at the loss of him but the world lost an earthly angel when he passed. He touched the lives of so many on his journey here on earth. I have no doubt that he will continue to touch our lives and we will know that it is him, whether it be a feeling, a thought, something physical or something else. When the time is right, Christian will let you know that he is OK, that he is with Christ himself, and that he is at Peace. His spirit lives on!
Mike Jepson: Christian was one of the most kind, loving and likable people I have ever known. His personality was of such that I know no one who was not drawn to him the minute they met him. Above all his earthly trials he was an amazingly wonderful man ....R.I.P. Christian we will all miss you.
Andrea Yri: I miss you best friend and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, multiple times everyday. Every time I think about you, I just try to remember that you're looking over me and I know you're always around. Miss you always and forever! Ciao, as you would say.
Drena M. Alarcon: My dearest friend, I don't know what to say but I love you and you will always be in my heart. And we will meet again in time.
Kimberly Jepson: I always remember Christian as having a big beautiful smile and smiling eyes. He was so very smart and funny. Well that and the huge school girl crush I had on him when I was a little girl. He will be lovingly remembered.
Stacy Martinez: missing you.... is it weird I still have your number in my phone. I can't delete it. don't know why. Your picture that I took at the river I have as my desktop. I am sad you are gone. Its really hard to have two close people in my life take their lives. I miss you and ricky. Both of you reached out and i wish i wish i tried harder ... I still read your emails. i love you as you would say ... ciao.
Azure Brown: dear christian, I was so honored to be amongst your family and friends yesterday! I got to hear lovely stories from everyone and Celebrate your life. You will be missed by many. Love you my friend.
I think it was close to 10 yrs ago that I met Christian when he was starting out with the Production Co. Such a smiling face. I was blessed to always be a part of the Productions and learned to love Christian for the funny and caring guy that he is. It is apparent that there are a lot of people that cared for you and you will truly be missed. But you will never be forgotten friend.
Love always, Azure~
Trevor Mackin: I love you homie, I always will. You were one of my best friends and I miss you dearly. I miss you so much!!!!!!! Still crying at just the thought of you. I wish we could talk again. I wish I could have been there. I'm so sorry bro. rip you won't be forgetten.
Brandon Jorgensen: hey dad I really miss you. I can't say much cause I don't really know what to say but like I said before I really really miss you so much no one can understand but any ways I came to say I love you and hope you found the peace you needed and I hope you know everybody and I mean everybody that knew you misses you.
Rhiannon Weckhorst-Harshman: sometimes its very hard to accept you truly are gone. I'm having a hard time dealing with this, hard time seeing Brandon hurt so bad. I just don't even know what to say other than I wasn't there to help you. I'm so sorry and I hope that your looking down on us and seeing that we all love you so much.
J.d. Funk: God I still can't believe all this I can't believe I had to tell Scott, his good good friend and old business partner. I've know Christian for many years and always looked up to him as a great person and guy. He is gonna be missed.
Michelle Levy Silverman: Prayers for peace and comfort to Christian's family and friends. This is a huge loss of a generous and wonderful person. Christian will be greatly missed. It was an honor to have known him.
Robin Hernandez: I am just so saddened beyond words with the news of Christian. so many memories of him, he was a good friend to LaToya ... Linda, I am so very sorry.
Nathan Wolf: Really having a hard time with you passing. Don't know how to feel. I have a pic of you next to my new born nephew. Life and death is a part of the big picture.
Amber Gaucher: I keep looking at that picture and think: "what a handsome, intelligent man. What a tragic waste".... he was and is so loved ... he is so missed right now.
Danielle Dingwall Wilhelm: I'm so very sorry Linda. I met you several years ago so I'm sure you don't remember me however I just want you to know that I have been praying that God will bring you some comfort in this tragic time. Please know that I thought the world of your son ... I hadn't seen him in years however the times we spent together were always good. Christian was a truly genuine person that would do anything for his friends ... you raised a fine man. God bless!
Daphne Campbell: Wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I'll never part. God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart!
Robyn Leveton: (Christian's sister) I keep having these really vivid dreams about you. Last night I dreamt we found this giant boxer dog and took him home and taught him all kinds of crazy tricks. But the dog kept stealing cigarettes and smoking them. Mom came in and yelled at us for letting the dog smoke in the house but then we showed her all the crazy tricks we taught him and pretty soon we were all sitting on the floor laughing so hard that we couldn't catch our breath. I woke up laughing. Sweet dreams, Baby.
My reply: I was laughing so hard when I read this and then I started crying because I know how funny Chris would have thought this was. In my head I can hear him laughing.
Robyn: I woke up with the sound of both of you laughing in my head. It was wonderful in that happy/sad kind of way. Then the whole rest of the day I could hear him laughing whenever I thought about it.
Mahyar: there are no words to convey my sadness when I found out about christian. even though we hadn't talked for a while, I always thought we'd be friends again and he has always been my brother. christian was an important member of my life cast and i'll miss him forever. if there is anything me or the old gang can do please let me know.
my deepest condolences
mahyar
Amerika Stodola (Rossi): Hi Linda,
I don't know if you remember me from LONG ago, but I was a friend of Christian's back in elementary school. We lost contact but recently started talking again. I found out today and I want to let you know how sorry I am. I thought I'd share a general memory of him with you, hopefully to help.
I loved Chris from my first day of school at Olympic. He'd walk off the bus with Nicole (Corella) and Rhonda and give me a hug or at least a smile every day. There were always other kids around too - Mike Weimer, April Hallen, and Tracie Jarvi come to mind and we'd all hang out at recess. Often we'd be boyfriend/girlfriend only to say "I dump you" (literally "I dump you") later the same day.
I remember sitting in your family room (red carpet or couches?) when we were kids and just hanging out. All day and all night. Drinking your soda. We'd play Nintendo and just sit there taking up space.
I remember someone breaking your back sliding glass door and no one admitting to who it was. (This, of course, may not have happened - but I think I remember it!)
My mom was cleaning out one of her drawers today and found two coins he had given me when we were little. If I remember correctly, he may actually have stolen them from Bobby .... I haven't seen the coins, but I'd like to get them back to you at some point.
I offered to help Asia with the memorial service in setting up, taking down, arranging, food, drink, collecting donations - whatever I can do. I am heartbroken for you and the rest of your family and just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
I've always had a soft spot for him and when I spoke with him about a month ago, he was pretty supportive about Ryan and Erica's deaths. He was straightforward and told me how he felt like he was able to help Jeremy and Sylvia and he knew they were all in Heaven.
He was believer and a lover and the rest doesn't matter.
I felt like I should probably give you some privacy in your grief but I want you to know I am thinking about you and your family and praying for you all.
Amerika Stodola (Rossi)
Steve's mom Marilyn: Oh my gosh! I am shocked and heartsick about Christian. Steve is in a tailspin over it and I just have no words for you since words cannot take away the pain you must be feeling.
I am just so sorry and so sad. I liked Christian very much. I knew he was hurting and tried in my small way to bring him some smiles.
We had dinner together on New Year's Eve.. we had such fun this summer at the zoo and then at the beach where Steve and Chris got into the kayak. We had a lot of fun that day and later he told me it was the funnest day he had all summer ... I'm so glad we went!! Pt Defiance Zoo, then to Jones Beach, dinner at the Cliff House Restaurant and then we tried to see the eclipse not knowing it was only visible in Asia LOL. We all had a good laugh about that.
He stayed here until he asked Steve to bring him home on Wednesday ... and now this.
Please know my heart goes out to you and your family and if there is anything I can do... let me know.
Warmly
Marilyn
Shirley Best: I know that you don't know me that well, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about Christian. I know that when you cry it will hurt and feel painful. He was your son and that made him special. He just had some demons that would not go away with out ending it all. He mostly likely waited until you were out of town so you would not be one of first people to find him like that. He did save you from that. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know it had to be hard for him to choose that way to go. Our sons are very special to us and we would do any thing to save them but sometimes we just can't. Just know that you love him and he loves you. Hold him in that special place in your heart where you have the joy of knowing him and loving him when he was here. He is at peace. I will pray that you don't need to understand why but just love him for who he was. Take care.
Chris and Becky Golden: With deepest sympathy on the passing of your son. We feel honored to be among those whom Christian called friends. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sincerely Chris & Becky Golden (Danny's mom & step-dad)
My message on Christian's Memorial Page:
Dearest, Everyone has gone home now. Tomorrow I will be alone in this big house for the first time since you went away. Tomorrow the house will be silent. No longer will I hear your laughter or see your smile. Tomorrow I will have to face the fact that you are not here, that you are gone. If only I could hold you one more time. How do I face tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that? Why my darling did you leave us? Why did you leave me when I love you so very much?
I went to my Mom's in Nevada thinking it would help to get away - give me time to heal. But that is where I was on that last tragic day. The phone calls from you, the sound of gunshots, it all comes rushing back as though it was happening all over again. Patrick confirming what I already knew - that you had shot yourself; and then later telling me that you had died. Oh sweet child, sweet child will this nightmare never end: My heart breaks over and over again. I have loved you with all my heart since you were first conceived; and when you were placed in my arms, it was a magical moment. Baby didn't you know its always darkest before the storm and then, eventually, the sun comes out and everything is good again.
Andrea Yri: I read this and it makes me cry. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I have an idea cause I'm hurting soo much too. I too wish he knew things would get better soon and we have those ups and downs in life, but that's what makes us stronger.
Rebecca Larson: Christian was the most caring, understanding, funny, loyal and an all around great person. I feel very blessed for all the times I got to share with such a wonderful man. I miss him calling me his "home girl".. I'm sure I'm not the only one who got that cute nick name :) I miss our hour long conversations and always felt honored when he would call me for advise. I will always miss that. I wish you knew Christian how much you meant to everyone and how much you meant to me. I am miserable knowing I can't call you or see you again. I hope that where ever you are you can see how many people here are lost without you. We take for granted our friends because we think they will always be there. I promise to you Christian I will tell each and every one of my friends (even the bad ones) every day that I love them because no life is worth losing especially yours. You were the best and I don't know what I am going to do with you. RIP Love always Becca
Jana Jepson Fugle: It is not by chance that the first part of Christian is Christ. He embodied the light and love of Christ to everyone, everywhere. We are all not only saddened at the loss of him but the world lost an earthly angel when he passed. He touched the lives of so many on his journey here on earth. I have no doubt that he will continue to touch our lives and we will know that it is him, whether it be a feeling, a thought, something physical or something else. When the time is right, Christian will let you know that he is OK, that he is with Christ himself, and that he is at Peace. His spirit lives on!
Mike Jepson: Christian was one of the most kind, loving and likable people I have ever known. His personality was of such that I know no one who was not drawn to him the minute they met him. Above all his earthly trials he was an amazingly wonderful man ....R.I.P. Christian we will all miss you.
Andrea Yri: I miss you best friend and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, multiple times everyday. Every time I think about you, I just try to remember that you're looking over me and I know you're always around. Miss you always and forever! Ciao, as you would say.
Drena M. Alarcon: My dearest friend, I don't know what to say but I love you and you will always be in my heart. And we will meet again in time.
Kimberly Jepson: I always remember Christian as having a big beautiful smile and smiling eyes. He was so very smart and funny. Well that and the huge school girl crush I had on him when I was a little girl. He will be lovingly remembered.
Stacy Martinez: missing you.... is it weird I still have your number in my phone. I can't delete it. don't know why. Your picture that I took at the river I have as my desktop. I am sad you are gone. Its really hard to have two close people in my life take their lives. I miss you and ricky. Both of you reached out and i wish i wish i tried harder ... I still read your emails. i love you as you would say ... ciao.
Azure Brown: dear christian, I was so honored to be amongst your family and friends yesterday! I got to hear lovely stories from everyone and Celebrate your life. You will be missed by many. Love you my friend.
I think it was close to 10 yrs ago that I met Christian when he was starting out with the Production Co. Such a smiling face. I was blessed to always be a part of the Productions and learned to love Christian for the funny and caring guy that he is. It is apparent that there are a lot of people that cared for you and you will truly be missed. But you will never be forgotten friend.
Love always, Azure~
Trevor Mackin: I love you homie, I always will. You were one of my best friends and I miss you dearly. I miss you so much!!!!!!! Still crying at just the thought of you. I wish we could talk again. I wish I could have been there. I'm so sorry bro. rip you won't be forgetten.
Brandon Jorgensen: hey dad I really miss you. I can't say much cause I don't really know what to say but like I said before I really really miss you so much no one can understand but any ways I came to say I love you and hope you found the peace you needed and I hope you know everybody and I mean everybody that knew you misses you.
Rhiannon Weckhorst-Harshman: sometimes its very hard to accept you truly are gone. I'm having a hard time dealing with this, hard time seeing Brandon hurt so bad. I just don't even know what to say other than I wasn't there to help you. I'm so sorry and I hope that your looking down on us and seeing that we all love you so much.
J.d. Funk: God I still can't believe all this I can't believe I had to tell Scott, his good good friend and old business partner. I've know Christian for many years and always looked up to him as a great person and guy. He is gonna be missed.
Michelle Levy Silverman: Prayers for peace and comfort to Christian's family and friends. This is a huge loss of a generous and wonderful person. Christian will be greatly missed. It was an honor to have known him.
Robin Hernandez: I am just so saddened beyond words with the news of Christian. so many memories of him, he was a good friend to LaToya ... Linda, I am so very sorry.
Nathan Wolf: Really having a hard time with you passing. Don't know how to feel. I have a pic of you next to my new born nephew. Life and death is a part of the big picture.
Amber Gaucher: I keep looking at that picture and think: "what a handsome, intelligent man. What a tragic waste".... he was and is so loved ... he is so missed right now.
Danielle Dingwall Wilhelm: I'm so very sorry Linda. I met you several years ago so I'm sure you don't remember me however I just want you to know that I have been praying that God will bring you some comfort in this tragic time. Please know that I thought the world of your son ... I hadn't seen him in years however the times we spent together were always good. Christian was a truly genuine person that would do anything for his friends ... you raised a fine man. God bless!
Daphne Campbell: Wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I'll never part. God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart!
Robyn Leveton: (Christian's sister) I keep having these really vivid dreams about you. Last night I dreamt we found this giant boxer dog and took him home and taught him all kinds of crazy tricks. But the dog kept stealing cigarettes and smoking them. Mom came in and yelled at us for letting the dog smoke in the house but then we showed her all the crazy tricks we taught him and pretty soon we were all sitting on the floor laughing so hard that we couldn't catch our breath. I woke up laughing. Sweet dreams, Baby.
My reply: I was laughing so hard when I read this and then I started crying because I know how funny Chris would have thought this was. In my head I can hear him laughing.
Robyn: I woke up with the sound of both of you laughing in my head. It was wonderful in that happy/sad kind of way. Then the whole rest of the day I could hear him laughing whenever I thought about it.
Mahyar: there are no words to convey my sadness when I found out about christian. even though we hadn't talked for a while, I always thought we'd be friends again and he has always been my brother. christian was an important member of my life cast and i'll miss him forever. if there is anything me or the old gang can do please let me know.
my deepest condolences
mahyar
Amerika Stodola (Rossi): Hi Linda,
I don't know if you remember me from LONG ago, but I was a friend of Christian's back in elementary school. We lost contact but recently started talking again. I found out today and I want to let you know how sorry I am. I thought I'd share a general memory of him with you, hopefully to help.
I loved Chris from my first day of school at Olympic. He'd walk off the bus with Nicole (Corella) and Rhonda and give me a hug or at least a smile every day. There were always other kids around too - Mike Weimer, April Hallen, and Tracie Jarvi come to mind and we'd all hang out at recess. Often we'd be boyfriend/girlfriend only to say "I dump you" (literally "I dump you") later the same day.
I remember sitting in your family room (red carpet or couches?) when we were kids and just hanging out. All day and all night. Drinking your soda. We'd play Nintendo and just sit there taking up space.
I remember someone breaking your back sliding glass door and no one admitting to who it was. (This, of course, may not have happened - but I think I remember it!)
My mom was cleaning out one of her drawers today and found two coins he had given me when we were little. If I remember correctly, he may actually have stolen them from Bobby .... I haven't seen the coins, but I'd like to get them back to you at some point.
I offered to help Asia with the memorial service in setting up, taking down, arranging, food, drink, collecting donations - whatever I can do. I am heartbroken for you and the rest of your family and just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
I've always had a soft spot for him and when I spoke with him about a month ago, he was pretty supportive about Ryan and Erica's deaths. He was straightforward and told me how he felt like he was able to help Jeremy and Sylvia and he knew they were all in Heaven.
He was believer and a lover and the rest doesn't matter.
I felt like I should probably give you some privacy in your grief but I want you to know I am thinking about you and your family and praying for you all.
Amerika Stodola (Rossi)
Steve's mom Marilyn: Oh my gosh! I am shocked and heartsick about Christian. Steve is in a tailspin over it and I just have no words for you since words cannot take away the pain you must be feeling.
I am just so sorry and so sad. I liked Christian very much. I knew he was hurting and tried in my small way to bring him some smiles.
We had dinner together on New Year's Eve.. we had such fun this summer at the zoo and then at the beach where Steve and Chris got into the kayak. We had a lot of fun that day and later he told me it was the funnest day he had all summer ... I'm so glad we went!! Pt Defiance Zoo, then to Jones Beach, dinner at the Cliff House Restaurant and then we tried to see the eclipse not knowing it was only visible in Asia LOL. We all had a good laugh about that.
He stayed here until he asked Steve to bring him home on Wednesday ... and now this.
Please know my heart goes out to you and your family and if there is anything I can do... let me know.
Warmly
Marilyn
Shirley Best: I know that you don't know me that well, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about Christian. I know that when you cry it will hurt and feel painful. He was your son and that made him special. He just had some demons that would not go away with out ending it all. He mostly likely waited until you were out of town so you would not be one of first people to find him like that. He did save you from that. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know it had to be hard for him to choose that way to go. Our sons are very special to us and we would do any thing to save them but sometimes we just can't. Just know that you love him and he loves you. Hold him in that special place in your heart where you have the joy of knowing him and loving him when he was here. He is at peace. I will pray that you don't need to understand why but just love him for who he was. Take care.
Chris and Becky Golden: With deepest sympathy on the passing of your son. We feel honored to be among those whom Christian called friends. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sincerely Chris & Becky Golden (Danny's mom & step-dad)
My message on Christian's Memorial Page:
Dearest, Everyone has gone home now. Tomorrow I will be alone in this big house for the first time since you went away. Tomorrow the house will be silent. No longer will I hear your laughter or see your smile. Tomorrow I will have to face the fact that you are not here, that you are gone. If only I could hold you one more time. How do I face tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that? Why my darling did you leave us? Why did you leave me when I love you so very much?
I went to my Mom's in Nevada thinking it would help to get away - give me time to heal. But that is where I was on that last tragic day. The phone calls from you, the sound of gunshots, it all comes rushing back as though it was happening all over again. Patrick confirming what I already knew - that you had shot yourself; and then later telling me that you had died. Oh sweet child, sweet child will this nightmare never end: My heart breaks over and over again. I have loved you with all my heart since you were first conceived; and when you were placed in my arms, it was a magical moment. Baby didn't you know its always darkest before the storm and then, eventually, the sun comes out and everything is good again.
Andrea Yri: I read this and it makes me cry. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I have an idea cause I'm hurting soo much too. I too wish he knew things would get better soon and we have those ups and downs in life, but that's what makes us stronger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were many more messages. I have only shared a portion but each one is special to me and I truly appreciate each of you. You have all touched my heart.
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