Christian must have been either fourteen or fifteen --- and of the age when I would have liked to stay in bed with the covers over my head until it was over. He was a child trying hard to be a man. He ran headlong into life in his zest for independence and freedom; and along the way he fell down - hard. It was decided that he would go live with his sister, Robyn, for a while on the other side of the mountains for an extended period of time. My heart was torn - wanting him to stay home and knowing that he had to go.
It was the end of August and I was sad thinking about all the holidays that he would not be spending at home - including his birthday. So I came up with a plan to make all the holidays happen at once. While he was out, I put up the Christmas tree; put balloons and streamers and a birthday cake in the dining room; halloween and thanksgiving decorations made the living room festive with pumpkins and skeletons and a horn of plenty; in the front yard a large cutout of a turkey was stuck into the ground; and a turkey baked in the oven. Then I waited.
I heard the front door open and Christian called out to me "Mom! What is a cardboard turkey doing in the front yard?" I rushed into the living room to see his reaction. He just stood there not saying a word but with wonderment on his face. He came to me and gave me the tightest, longest hug. When I looked at him, he had tears in his eyes. He quickly turned away from me and started laughing as he took it all in. I was happily pronounced "insane". It was one of the best "holidays" we ever had together.
Until today I had almost forgotten that memory. I had gone into my trunk of motherly memories and found it here. I pulled it out, shook off the cobwebs, and enjoyed it all over again. I remembered his laugher, his hug, and his joy. I sat down and surrendered myself to the memory and emerged with a heart full of love for family and all the good times we've shared.
I left the Christmas tree up from August through December. People would come in and look at it but rarely did they ever say anything. I always wondered what they were thinking but their silence always made me chuckle.
Today, December 9th, is Christian's birthday. He would have been 33. His birthdays will come and go but he will remain FOREVER YOUNG.
FOREVER YOUNG
Bob Dylan
May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.
Linda what a beautiful memory to have. I am so thankful that you are sharing your journey. You are probably one of the sanest people I know. Keep on feeling deeply, loving huge and boldy continuing on. Love you, Jana
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