The shooter, a young man just twenty years of age, who according to those that study the development of the brain was almost a child himself. He is gone by a self-inflected gunshot wound leaving us with no clear answers to our questions. No one will ever know what happened this morning at the home he shared with his mother which caused him to end her life. We will probably never know what happened that set into motion the horrifying events that followed. We can guess. We can hypothesis but the truth lies cold on the floor of Sandy Hook Elementary School locked away forever in the mind of a delusional young man.
What we do know is that his brother stated he had a personality disorder and was autistic. As a mother who had a child that suffered from severe depression and eventually ended the pain by taking his own life by suicide, I know a little about mental disorders. Therefore, I will not rush to judge this young man.
Was what he did reprehensible? Was what he did to so many innocent victims unforgivable? Absolutely. Was he mentally capable of understanding his actions? That is yet to be determined. I cannot imagine that anyone capable of taking the lives of twenty tiny children could be sane or in touch with his feelings or mental reasoning.
Tonight twenty sets of parents will go to bed knowing that never again will they be able to safely tuck their little ones into their beds, pull the blankets up around their small necks, and kiss them good night. Loved ones of the teachers and administrators that perished will struggle with their loss, their unanswered questions, and their heartbreaking grief. All have been robbed of future happiness with those stolen so cruelly from them.
In wake of this terrible, terrible tragedy it makes the happenings in my own life seem very small in comparison.
Tonight I lit a candle in memory of those that loss their lives today and for their families, friends, and the entire community of Newtown. Tomorrow the President has set aside as a day of mourning. Again I will light my candle. I hope all of you will do the same.
We will grieve together as parents, as survivors, as tender hearts, and as a nation. The faithful will pray; but regardless of our beliefs, we will hold our children a little tighter and stand a little closer together.
Those of us that have lost loved ones, especially when the loss was sudden and unexpected, understand what these families are going through. We feel their pain because that type of pain has touched our lives too; we understand the empty place in their hearts; and we know the numbness they are currently feeling. We also know that the really tough days lie ahead when that numbness begins to wear off. Let us hope that others will be there in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead to support them and love them and to understand that the pain they are feeling will never end.
Let us fervently hope that the surviving children that had to endure this horror receive all the love, understanding, and counseling they need to be mentally and emotionally healthy. May the community as a whole come together and find the resources that will be needed to help them.
Heroes will surely come to light. For me any teacher that reacted quickly to keep their students out of harms way are heroes. Let us not forget that they, too, have been forever impacted by today's events.
Bless the first responders and crime scene examiners that had to face the carnage they found as they entered the halls and classrooms where the shooter left his victims and ultimately himself.
May God hold each victim, both living and deceased, in his loving Arms.
Thank you Linda for this touching entry. Having been touched by the sudden n tragic loss of my daughter due to suicide I can feel the pain that this entire community must endure. My heart goes out to all of them. Although I disagree with your statement ” In wake of this terrible, terrible tragedy it makes the happenings in my own life seem very small in comparison.” Your loss like mine is tragic n heartwrenching just the same. A child, our child and very painful. This is said with love for all those that must live without our children.
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