HELLO DEAR ONE: A TIME TO LISTEN

I was looking through an old notebook tonight and found this.  An exchange between my daughter and me.  It isn't dated but must have taken place in early or mid 2010.

"Hello, welcome dear one,

Come in and lets sit a while.
Its been so long,
we never had a change to talk.

You needed time.  I understand.
Your pain is still so great.

I listen to your words
As the pain pours out
And watch as tears flow down your cheeks.
I silently listen and hold your hand.

In your pain you still want to place blame.
Why didn't he do this?
Why didn't he do that?
And why, why, why did he do this?

I know buried beneath your words
You're feeling guilt. I feel guilt.
But you of all people have no reason for guilt.
You couldn't fix what you didn't see.  No one could.
As he said himself, he was the great trickster.

I'd like to help you but don't know how.
I can't help myself either.

You want to talk but you don't want to listen.
Your feelings are still so raw.

Your words say:
I care.
I understand.
And next everything in you screams:
I don't understand!

When I start to explain my pain
Your name is called and you walk away
Not knowing this would be the only time I would try.
My feelings I keep buried deep, deep inside.
Those gentle words I would have said to you
Will never be spoken.

You return.

Your face says I don't want to hear.
I need to live in this world filled
with hurt and pain a while longer.
This I understand.  I am there too.

Dark emptiness boils up from within.
I feel sick and heartbroken watching you suffer.
I must put my own feelings aside.
This time, this moment must be about you
And how to help ease you through the pain
Because I love you and I do understand
what it feels like when sorrow and despair
calls out your name
And won't let go.

You are spent.  So instead of talking about things
that tear your heart
I'll put on the kettle and we'll have a cup of tea.